Tavern Time: Mass Madness Malt Matchup Week 2 Coverage!

Welcome back to another Tavern Time where Christy ( a craft beer connoisseur) and I (a craft beer noob and trash beer drinker) review random craft beers that catch our eye! Our Beer Bracket of Champions, Mass Madness Malt Matchup began Monday recently finished the first round and has already started their second round matchups, so this entry will be dedicated to our coverage of Week 2. We at Tavern of Tales, did a blind taste test for each contest (in which Nick is the administrator, one beer is labelled Poop Poop and the other one, Poop) and talked about which one we favored more. Unfortunately though, as it’s always almost certain to happen, some tastes we considered superior did not make it to the next round. Anyways, here’s our commentary!

Matchup 5: Greater Good- Goodnight Moon vs. Backlash- Great Molasses Disaster!

Christy: Well, they both smell the same.
JP: Yeah, they both smell like soy sauce.
Nick: Oh crap.
Christy: They both look pretty dark.
JP: Woah. One looks like soy sauce, the other one looks like coffee soy sauce.
Christy: Yeah that or Worcestershire sauce. So which one do you think looks like coffee soy sauce, Poop or Poop Poop?
JP: Um…Poop Poop.
Christy: Yeah. Poop Poop looks thicker. I think this might be the imperial.
*JP and Christy sip the brews*
Christy: Yeah…I don’t like that one.
Nick: Poop Poop?
Christy: Yeah. I don’t like Poop Poop.
Nick: I just don’t like porters in general, but molasses doesn’t remind me of soy sauce on first sipping.
Christy: I don’t like Poop Poop, and currently don’t know which is which.
Nick: What don’t you like about Poop Poop?
Christy: It has a weird after taste.
Nick: That lingers?
Christy: Yeah. And it’s bitter. And really dry. And chalky. I don’t like it.
JP: Ugh.
Christy: So I think the Molasses Disaster is Poop, because it’s sweeter.
JP: Yeah. Poop is much better than Poop Poop.
Nick: So, Jordan (JP) do you have any notes, besides that Poop is better?
JP: Poop is better, sweeter, doesn’t have a horrible aftertaste. Poop Poop is dry…and has a terrible aftertaste.
Nick: How insightful.
Christy: So Great Molasses Disaster might be Poop Poop, since it’s an imperial stout, and Greater Good is a milk stout. I’m definitely getting a creamy note from Poop.
Nick: So I’m currently drinking Good Night Moon right now. I did get a little taste of soy sauce, but not from the molasses. Though I think I like Good Night Moon better.
Christy: Did you think either one of them were bitter?
Nick: I might as well tell you now, uh, Molasses is Poop Poop and Good Night Moon is Poop. And yeah, I did think the same, there is a very strong aftertaste with the molasses.
JP: Yeah, Christy, when you were saying you thought the Molasses was the sweeter one, I was like, molasses has never been that sweet. I absolutely hate molasses.
Commentator Victor: Greater Good- Goodnight Moon
Mass Madness Malt Matchup Winner: Greater Good- Goodnight Moon

Matchup 6: Lamplighter- Ophelia vs. Bentwater- Jolene!

*JP and Christy sniff the brews*
Christy: Poop smells nice.
JP: Poop smells like soy sauce. Poop Poop smells less like soy sauce.
*JP and Christy taste the brews*
Christy: I like Poop Poop.
JP: Poop has a funky taste.
Christy: Yeah I don’t like it. Poop is kind of bitter.
Nick: Which one did you vote for though?
JP: The literary reference.
Nick: Lamplighter?
JP: Yeah. Ophelia. But I have a feeling that Poop is Lamplighter, and that Poop Poop is Bentwater.
Nick: I like the Bentwater a little better, just because it’s not as soy sauce-y and strong.
Christy: Poop Poop looks lighter, like, uh, thinner and not as opaque.
*JP starts singing “Jolene” by Dolly Parton*
Nick: Well you are indeed correct. Jolene is Poop Poop. Lamplighter is Poop.
Commentator Victor: Bentwater- Jolene
Mass Madness Malt Matchup Winner: Lamplighter- Ophelia

Matchup 7: Notch- Infinite Jest vs. Cisco- Grey Lady!

*JP and Christy talk about the book, Infinite Jest, and then sniff the beers*
JP: I like the way Poop smells.
Christy: Yeah, Poop smells nice. Poop Poop smells….
JP: Beer-y.
Christy: Yeah. Beer-y. And wheat-y.
JP: Might you say, yeasty?
Christy: No.
JP: Okay. A man can dream.
*We taste the beers*
JP: Mmm. Poop is very refreshing.
Christy: I think Poop is Grey Lady and Poop Poop is Notch.
Nick: Thoughts, Jordan (JP)?
JP: I like both of them.
Christy: That’s nice.
Nick: I think they have two very different tastes. A lot of our matchups have been very similar with slightly different tastes, this one is very distinct.
JP: I’d take both on any day.
Christy: I prefer Poop. Which one do you prefer?
JP: Poop Poop.
Nick: Infinite Jest is Poop. Grey Lady is Poop Poop.
Christy: Oh. Interesting.
JP: Well then.
Nick: Actually, when I smelled the Infinite Jest, it kind of reminded me of a pale ale. In Grey Lady, you can definitely taste the spices they use.
Commentator Victor: Tie!
Mass Madness Malt Matchup Winner: Cisco- Grey Lady

Matchup 8: Mystic - Saison Dutronc vs. CBC- Casual Gods

*we sniff the beers*
JP: Woo! Yeah.
Christy: Yeah one of em’s real, Woo!
Nick: Real strong?
JP: Mhm.
Christy: Poop is the Casual Gods. I prefer Poop Poop.
JP: I like Poop. It’s sour.
Christy: Poop Poop is a little hay-like. A little barnyard-y. Very farmhouse ale.
JP: Poop Poop tastes like the zoo. Poop tastes like a sour.
Nick: I hate the smell of the zoo, because it always smells like poo.
JP: Yeah. Having been the roommate of a zookeeper, Poop Poop both smells and tastes like the zoo.
Nick: Poop is Casual Gods and Poop Poop is Mystic.
Commentator Victor: Tie!
Mass Madness Malt Matchup Winner: Mystic- Saison Dutronc

If you want to participate in the Mass Madness Malt Matchup, remember to check our Instagram Monday-Friday and vote on our Insta-story! We’ll be back next week with our Week 3 coverage for Round 2!